Time sure flies when you are not watching!

I'm sitting in the living room in my home and I feel so tired. But I'm only tired because of lack of sleep, I'm not mentaly tired. That's a good thing ;)

I should be studying. I dont know what's wrong but every time I'm on the way to study I find something else to do. It's not good. I'm so way behind in everything. :S
I think the reason is because my studies are not my main priority at the moment. There are things that are coming up - personal things - that distract me and keep me unfocused.

There are only 15 days to Christams and I feel I'm running out of time.
I have so much to do but I cant seem to get started on anything.

But even though this is happening I feel happy. These passed couple of days have been so great, I have been having the best time and I feel like I'm always smiling. For that I feel grateful.

I'm going to try to study at least two chapters in my Chinese Textbook, and then go into writing the chinese characters. uff, I have the exam on tuesday :S

I hope you all had a great weekend and I wish you all the best!

-with love-

Do dreams come true?

I have noticed that I'm dreaming a lot during the night - something that I usually dont do.

I'm dreaming of people I know, people I care about but the dreams are not always nice. I wake up and I usually remember most of the dreams. I remember the people I'm dreaming and the feeling stays for some time after I wake up. It's not always a good feeling.

But some dreams are very nice, I'm dreaming good things about dear friends. I'm dreaming about acts that I have to take and thoughts I have to share with friends.
Thoughts that make me scared but in the dream everything goes so well.

I wonder why all of the sudden I'm dreaming this much. Is my conciousness trying to tell me something? Do the people I'm dreaming mean more to me then I thought before? does the good and the bad thing have specific meaning?
I'm just not sure and I dont think I will ever know the answer.
All I can do is keep dreaming, hoping for good ones and hopefully someone will mean something to me.

I hope this weekend will be great, I wish the same for you all.
- with love -

Questions and answers are keeping me awake!

I was just learning how to import all my postings here to my notes at Facebook - something very cool.
So then I started to write this post now.. when I started thinking..
"all the crap I have been writing here will automatically go to facebook - a place where I only posted the SMART thoughts I have. Now everything will go there"
So I'm going to give this a try..

But now it's been some times since I wrote my happy moments. I just haven't given myself the time to actually sit down and appriciate them all. Things have been busy, I'm still not doing so great and I honestly havent been thinking about my happy moments
But there have been good and great moments.

So I'm gonna take some time off sharing my happy moments, I'm still going to treasure them.
I have some other thoughts I need to work through now.
- where do I see myself next year and doing what?
- why do I easily get so f**k**g jealous when there is nothing that should make my feel this way, or is there something ?
- Am I gonna be strong enough to keep all my promises I have made to myself?

so I'm gonna keep thinking about my happy moments, as well as trying to figure out the answers to questions above.
That will be my priority now!

- with love -

Every Day is a new day! Embrace it.

Today is gonna be the day - I heard somewhere..
and that's true - today was the day :) Nothing special happened in that sense but the day was just one of a kind and I think that's what Oasis ment with the sentence.

a lot of thoughts are running through my mind, about life, love, friends and future. I keep thinking about what I want to do, how I'm going to make sure I'm working towards my goals and not living in doubt about anything.
Thoughts are running in my mind, questions like "What if"? and I look at all the things that could be happening and what I would do to react. How would I handle difficult situations? how strong am I?

As we are heading towards my favorite season - christmas - I wish for a lot of things. I wish and I hope - but I'm afraid to act on some of those wishes ( or I have been ). But now I have decided I'm not going to be afraid anymore. If the outcome will be negative at least I tried and I can move on. Then I dont have to sit around and wonder when I'm older "what if"?
I had a good day and I'm thankful for it. My highlights of the day are following:

- Meeting a friend I haven't seen for a long time. It was so nice to meet Ragna, talk about our lifes and experiences since last time and just hang out like old times. I really enjoyed all the conversations.

- Going to the movies. I haven't gone to the movies in a long time - it's a shame since I enjoy it very much. I went to see " Dan in real life" and I have to admit it's very good. I laughed, I almost cried and I had a great time.

- Taking a "time out" bath and reading my book. Just relaxing for some minutes before taking on another busy week. It was so relaxing, so peaceful and nice. It sure is a time out from everything else.

It's almost end of the month and I feel like the year is moving to fast - time goes by way to fast and I can not keep up.
I guess that's the feeling when you are enjoying the process, living life and really be everything you can be - because that's what I have been doing this year.
And I can not wait for the next one to come so that could go by even faster with everything I'm going to take on. :)

I'm trying to be open, happy and enjoy everything. This is my result so far.
What is your result?
How are you progressing towards the person/life you want to have?
Are you already there?

- with love -

Still counting my happy hours :)

The weekend is almost over.
I'm sitting in the living room and I wanted to write this post before I go to sleep even though I'm extremely tired.

The weekend was very enjoyable, challenging, fun and exciting.

Here are some of my highlights of the weekend:

- MC meeting on Friday was awsome, I'm happy with a great team, with ambitious people and willing to make things happen for AIESEC in Iceland. I went really happy from that meeting and I'm still smiling with the thought of this great meeting. :) Thanks guys!

- Spending afternoon shopping with my mom. It was a mother daugther quality time and I'm very satisfied with that.

- Movie night with AIESECers. We watched Knocked up and I laughed and had a good time with great people. Good ending of a great day :D

- girls night out with friends of mine. Started at my place, drinking, calling to Denmark and just being silly and having fun. Then we went out to a caffee to hear good music and have even more fun together.

- hangover food with friends really made my day today :)

- Buying a new phone!!!!! that's my highlight of the whole weekend. I bought a great phone and I dont think I have been so excited about buying things in many years.. I'm so happy with the phone and i love everything I can do with the phone. :D

- Dinner party at Grandmothers house. Celebrating my grandfathers birthday. I met all my close reletives, laughed, at good food and celebrated :)

So far I have been doing this happiness diary for a week now. I feel more happier when I'm going to sleep after writing down the moments of my day that make me smile, make me feel it's worth it to wake up in the morning and do the things I'm doing every day.

I think it's an interesting experiement to do this diary. I'm going to continue a little more and then I will see how things are going, if I feel it's working as I wanted to.

So I'm going to say goodnight, hope you had a great weekend as well and that you are cherishing every moment that make you smile, all the people that make you laugh and all the thoughts that could lead to even more happy moments.

-with love-

Keep sharing :)

I have to admit I have been feeling much happier this week then last week - maybe that's because I was sick and tired last week but now I'm getting better ;)

But I still would like to share with you my happy moments of today!

- Meeting with Egill from Career Days team. the meeting gave me possitive feeling about huge potentials Career Days/AIESEC have and that there are people that care to work with me in order to reach the potential.

- having time to read my book while waiting for the doctors. I enjoyed that waiting time.

- going to my grandmother to celebrate with her on her birthday. It was a nice moment and I feel very good to have good relationship with my grandparents.

- taking a "time out" bath after a long day, enjoying my book and just totally relaxing and not thinking about anything school/AIESEC related.
I have to do that more often.

so overall - today was a good day and I'm ready to take on next day with more happy moments I would share with you :)

I hope you are all also thinking about what are your happy moments, what makes you smile, are you actually doing something every day that you like to do?
If not then I think you need to rearange something - and try. Because it's so worth it to feel this when you are reflecting on the day.
Being happy is a fuel for further success - I'm sure of it.
- just see, Albert Schweitzer, also agrees with me!
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.

-With love and happiness-

Openminded to catch my happiness!

Today I have been thinking "is this my highlight moment of today"?
By doing this I keep thinking about possitive aspect of everything I have done today.

So I wanted to share some of the points that made me smile today and brought happiness to my life.

- Comment from Emad ( Pakistan ) about my post yesterday. He liked the possitive thinking and that made me feel good.

- achieving in Chinese class, being able to say stuff by my self and without to much help from the teahcer.

- Great meeting with Lyuba, my LCP. It was effective and possitive meeting. I feel good about the work coming up and I feel I did a good job and that will make LC members do great job.

These three points make me smile, the brightened my day and I felt good about next tasks.

What was your highlights today?
Share with me and you will feel good :D

- with love -

Questions about happiness?

I feel like I'm getting more and more closer to some friends, they share with me their hopes, their fears and their feelings and I share mine.
but on the other hand there are some friends I feel like I'm loosing touch with and I'm always trying to reach out but sometimes I dont reach far enough or there is nothing there to reach out to.
that makes me sad.. but something that I'm still working on.
but on to other things -

I spent whole yesterday lying in a couch watching TV, with one exeption when I went to KFC to get hangover food ;)
this weekend was good, I had great time partying with friends, drank some interesting drinks and had enjoyable drinking games as well as conversations.
yesterday was the highlight of the weekend.
After whole day of doing nothing I drove home... and something felt good inside. The view was amazing. It was sunset, the yellow color going into golden color, then orange, dark red and then clear blue colors was so beautiful and perfect view to drive towards when you are on your way home.
So when I came home I had this great feeling, I enjoyed being alone with my thoughts and rainbow color sunset in my mind.

so tell me -
have you thought about how you can make your day even better then it has been?
I heard about happiness diary.
It's a book where you write down your highlights of the day, your happy moments in the end of every day.
It helps you to get the best out of your life.
I think that's really inspiring thought and who knows, I might continue sharing with you my happy moments.

Until next happy moment
- with love -

Rocking around and getting stronger!

I went into a book store today and I came out without buying books.
I feel it now how strong I am getting. ;)

Now I have all dressed up, put on makeup ( yeah believe it or not ), might even wear high heals :S and I'm going to celebrate with my friend, she had her birthday 2 days ago.
So, after week lying at home, having headache, dizziness and not feeling great, I'm going out and celebrate. I'm going to get my energy back.

I miss my energy and I'm glad that I am getting it back.
So now I wish you a great night, great weekend and a week full of excitement and joy.

I'm going now and get drunk ;)
- with love-

In honor of those who have gone!

At this day a year ago something bad happened to good people.
I dont want to bring back memories but I do want to honor their memory because I think that's needed in situations like this.

Here is a post I wrote last year when I had gotten the news.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everything has it's reasons

It's strange how news you recieve affect you in various ways.
I just recieved so bad news and I can hardly think. I have headache and my body is aching.
I'm left in a black hole and I'm trying to see the light. I can not even imagine how people are feeling that got hurt the most.

Death of a child - it's never fair.
I guess God has special plans for those that are taken sooner than we wanted, they are needed more as angels and they will be able to influence the world to the grater good in heaven then they would be able here on earth. That is what I believe.
Everything has it's reasons.

Recieving these news, a lot of things went through my mind.
my family
my brother
my friend that I want to hug and give support to in times of need
Love
Life and death
the future
My friends family and that I wish I could give them support
God and his reasons
Angels and life after death
friendship
How can I be supportive to people that need me?
How can I be a good friend?
How is the propper way to say - I'm SO sorry for your loss!


While these thoughts have been running again and again through my mind I've been trying to keep on, But somehow this always comes back and I cant stop thinking about all these things. I guess that's good, because something is ment for us to continuously have in our mind. Somethings are not ment to be left behind or forgotten. So for that I'm glad, that I can use these thoughts to make me a better person, a better friend and know where I stand towards my family and friends.
I love them and I dont think I say that often enough ( not like saying it here will be better ) but at least now I know.

Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them.

Angels are students in Heaven and teachers on Earth

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distractionOh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight
Sarah McLachlan - Angel

I believe that good people that leave this life too soon is ment to be angels. So my angel quotes are to their honor. May they use their work in heaven to greater good for us here on earth.

My dear friend. I know words dont always mean much but in this case words and my love are what I can give you. That's how I can support you as well as to be a shoulder to cry on and ears to listen.
I love you and I send you and your family my warm thoughts in these sad times.

-with Love-

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So take a moment, look around you and make sure you treasure all moments with people you love.
Enjoy your life, live it and make the most out of your time here.

- with love and respect -

pouring my heart out!

I'm sitting at the AIESEC office, having strange but good feeling.

This last week I have been very tired, it's very wierd.. And it's not a good wierd.
But yesterday I woke up smiling.

I feel good
I'm excited about AIESEC and I feel so motivated to work.

Not everything has been going like I planned and some of it is my fault and some of it is because others trust to much on me.. But nevertheless... It's on a right way. and that's what makes me smile.
Hey - we dont have a lot of members, we can not do everything we want and we have hard time starting to do things..
But when we do the things we do they always leave the great experience I was hoping for. I always leave from the task with some satisfaction of good results, even if it could have been better.

I'm feeling like this now..
I'm working on Career Days team and making sure we are getting the right people. And even though we are running out of time because of troubles with e-mails and promotion, the people who have applied are so motivated, so open and so ready to make a great event happen.
- that gives me comfort that I'm doing something good.

I'm also working on our National conference that is coming up in a week.
And even though we dont have many people signing up the agenda looks great, the facis are great, we have a great chair.
And I feel comfortable that those who will attend the conference will have a great time.
- that gives me the feeling I'm here for a reason

So I'm feeling much better then I did in October.
I feel like I'm glowing.. I'm also taking it into consideration that Toni from Spain ( love you man :) ) told me that I look much nicer when I'm smiling :D
So that's what I'm doing now.

I want people to experience what I'm experiencing.. because I'm sure that if people would, we would not be so few in AIESEC in Iceland.
And I'm thankful for those who are in AIESEC in Iceland now, trying and willing to make something great happen.
- that gives me strenght to work even more on AIESEC.

I think that's it - I wanted to share what I've been thinking about here these past 4 hours I've spent at the office.
I hope, I truely do, that you are doing great and that you are cherishing all the small things around you, all the great things you are doing and realizing how you are impacting others with the work you do, your smile and your support.

thank you all for your support
-with love-

How did I feel last October?

Sunday, 22nd October 2006 I wrote a post here on this blog..

How do I feel?

And this was my answer:

I can hear my heart breaking
As I open the door
I can feel the tears
On my face burn like fire
As I look in your eyes
And I know
I'm still in love with…

Everything I hate
Everything you do
Everything I fear
Everything on you

I can feel my life ending
As a whisper goodbye
And I know
I'm still in love with…

Everything I hate
Everything you do
Everything I fear
Everything on you

I can’t believe I still need you
I can’t believe I still want you
I can’t believe life means
Nothing without you
Baby I'm still in love with…

Everything I hate
Everything you do
Everything I fear
Everything on you

I’m in love with…

Everything you are

Anna Vissi - Everything



It's kind a interesting to see that the way I have been feeling this month was very similar to the way I was feeling a year ago.
Is it the month - does it make people blue and out of energy?
If so - then I'm gonna skip October next year :S

Just wanted to share this thing I found out this morning..
Hope you guys are experiencing a great october :D

-with love-

What a wonderful world!

The weekend was amazing - and I needed that.

* I saw a shooting star
* Had great conversations with friends and family
* Sang songs in Sing Star
* Bought shoes - so cool ones
* Relaxed
* Went to a wedding - Congratulations Nonni and Gudny :)
* Partied and celebrated with family
* Drank with friends
* Talked about interesting topics
* Had good hang over food
* Sleeped
* relaxed a little more

= GREAT WEEKEND

I hope you all had one as well...
Now I can not wait until next one comes along. :)

-with love-

Where is my energy?

This week is hell.......what will come in the future?

I have never been so unfocused when it comes to school, I'm not yet into AIESEC mood and I'm always tired.
What do I want?
What do I need?

I hope I will get into the right gear soon - I dont like to be like this, I dont feel like myself.. I miss myself. ( believe it or not ) I miss being organized and willing to do things.
How can I get there?
How will I make sure I have the energy?

Times are really changing - I feel it every day. I'm not saying I'm tired in my current role but I'm very ready to try something different. I hope to leave things in better situation when it's my turn to step aside and make sure the next person takes over.
What do I want to do?
How can I make sure I find the right way?
Who will help me in that quest?

I'm thinking a lot - I think I need people to talk to, so...
If you want to talk about random stuff...You know I'm the right person...

-with random and unfocused love-

feels like I'm hollow inside

Have you ever had those days where you feel like you are so lost?
And bad things keep coming and you just want to save everything - when you are not able to do it?

I'm having one of those days now - I feel so tired, Can not get into anything but then again I dont know where to start, what to do and so on..

I also have some feelings I need to sort out and I just can not seem to work on them... I just want to do nothing and then sleep some more.

F**K

I hate this kind of a feeling...

I dont know what I need - but I sure need something to get me back into action..

Tomorrow and on Saturday I will be in a better mood... and I can not wait.

-with love-

Welcome to Lithuania..

I’m back home from Lithuania... back home from EuroCo 2007.

I’m extremely tired, I’m not even in the mood to study for my exam tomorrow.. that’s a bad sign.

EuroCo was an amazing time, intense experience full of learning and amazing people. I never thought I would learn so much about myself, about the people I was working with and build special bonds with my team mates. I really do miss them.

Now when I’m back from EuroCo I’m thinking a lot about my next steps and what are the opportunities out there. I’m more open, I’m looking forward to make the decisions about the future and seeing what links to my future plans so I can make the right decision for me!

I’m thankful for this experience, the conference was amazing, I got group of very close friends, people I will stay in touch for a long long time – and that’s the best think I have gotten out of this.

So thank you Toni, Janie, Peter, Lara, Nastia, Andries, Mochine, Maria, Marjam, Sami, Rob and Ivan.

I’ll never forget this crazy conference, it’s great to be part of the AIESEC Rangers and I know I have close friends who I can share with.

So thanks for everything.

-with love-

Careless and free!

I have always taken things very seriously, work, AIESEC, relationships and guys, future - sometimes that's needed, but sometimes I wish I could be careless and free.

I have decided to be careless and "free" in related to one thing - I'm gonna enjoy, not be stressed and be happy that I can be careless once in a while.

So in what area am I going to be more careless? - wouldn't you want to know?

- is it going to work? Stop attending on time, do whatever I think is needed when I think it's needed?

- is it going to be AIESEC? Induction what? Conference what? Leadership yeah right? ;)

- is it going to be with the oposite sex? - Flirting with strangers, wear more dearing clothes and play like I'm the number one.

Or is it going to be something completely different - something that no one could have thought of?

You will just have to see for yourself..

-with love-

Have a great weekend!

Now that it’s all said and done
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I fell too far, was in way too deep
Guess I let you get the best of meeee

(Chorus)
Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally gettin’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!
(End Chorus)
Over You Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com

You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say,
And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of other’s opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for meee

(Chorus)
Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally getting’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!
(End Chorus)

I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you

And I never saw it coming
I should have started running
I’m finally getting better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
And I got over you!!!
And I got over you!!!
And I got over you!!!

The day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you…
Chris Daughtry - Over you

-with love-

Do you miss me too?

Somethings dont leave so easily from your mind.
A friend of mine said that in order to forget someone he loved his brain needed to blown up!
I completely understand - I have the same problem just so you know!! This is not easy for me.

I miss you!!

So this is how I feel this weekend..these feelings come and go - so hopefully it will gone tomorrow!

To see you when I wake up
is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
is a three-fold, utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,
I miss you.
I see your picture, I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days, but already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care
and I miss you.
Incubus - I miss you

To miss your friends is hard... to miss your family is painful ... but I'm glad I have so many people in my life that I love - that when they are not with me, I miss them:)

I'm glad that I miss you!
I hope you miss me too!

-with love-

Is this the truth

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
Gets stronger then your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn’t care how fast you fall
And you can’t refuse the call
See you’ve got no say at all

Now I was just a once a fool it’s true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my world’s a deeper blue
I’m sadder but I’m wiser too
I swore I’d never love again
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn’t worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name

-with love-

I'm ready to be an achiever!

I'm back home - Home sweet home - where I dont get sweety by walking and the food is good ;)

IC was an intense experience, I feel motivated, I feel more prepared for my year and I hope my team members feel that as well.
It was so great to see old friends, get to know new ones and learn new things about people and countries.

My third IC and I still dont get used to the feeling of tiredness afterwards. I am so exhausted now but still feeling good.
I had many highlights at the conference but also some not so interesting.

The biggest highlight was the people. It was so amazing to interact with different individuals from around 100 countries. I dont think people understand the impact it can have on your life, your mind and your values.

I have many friends, from all over the world.
for me that's worth so much - I have the opportunity to learn about others, their culture and country - and get ride of steriotypes and common understanding of how things are in the rest of the world.
that's priceless...

So IC was good, I have a lot of ideas and I'm willing to make things happen in AIESEC in Iceland - I'm willing to take part in the generations of Achievers.

I look forward to next conference where I will meet most of my friends again, where I will be able to gain new friends and learn new things.
I also have to start planning my next steps - There are so many opportunities for me.

Which ones should I take?

These next days are going to be challenging, interesting and eventful.
I love it!

-with love-

I'm weak and I know it!

Today was a good day - money spent, family bonding and meeting new people.

I woke up after a very interesting dream that I hope doesn't mean a thing... I had breakfast and got slowly into life status.
My mom and I decided to spend the day together so what do women do when they want to bond?

THEY GO SHOPPING!!!

So we did the same..... and man - I am broke after today ;) But it was well worth it.

I have a weakness... It's becoming more and more obvious and I have no control over it....

I'm a bookaholic :S
When I go into book stores I always come out with something - and today was the same.
I went to a book store to buy english teaching books for my mom and I walked out with 2 books; The monk who sold his ferrari and 7 habits of highly effective people.
I'm looking forward to start reading those books - it will not be soon, I have already 10 other books infront of them in my reading list - So who knows when I will be able to read them.

I will keep you informed.

-with love-

I want to remember Gorki park!

it's another Tequila sunrise and my glas is empty.
I'm so tired but still I feel so good in my soul - I'm happy.

I was going out for a short while - it ended up in a big party with GREAT live band and I am a little nervous how I will be tomorrow ( or actually this morning).
I have only this to say about that:
Here I go again on my own :D

Even though a careless wisper told me to think about tomorrow - not only about tonight I decided to have a revolution.
When my 6th glas was empty - I was told to go home, I had responsibilities in the morning and it's best to not ignore them :S

So I went home and here I am - thinking about my life and that it's so easy to fall in love.
Falling in and out, feeling and wanting - but so tired.

So I'm ending this post - very educating post - with reminder that 2 out of 3 aint bad - it's just very important to know which 2 you actually have :D

-With love and hangovers tomorrow-


p.s - if you can figure out what kind of music I was listening to - Hat's off for you:D

emotional futuristic girl

I dont think I have ever been so emotional like I have been for the past month. Tears have been slipping away from my eyes very often and I cant seem to catch them.

it's so wierd, specially since I' m not really sad ( much ) and the weather has been so great and not influencing my mood in a negative way. So what's wrong?

I think I do know - and there is something I can do but that is going to take a lot of curage and a chance to be even more sad.
If you had the chance to have everything you wanted - or something really important that wasn't supposed to be yours - would you fight?

I have decieded that I'm going to fight for it - no matter how it costs... at least I tryed.... Isn't that the main thing?

My last few postings have been totally random, with slight feeling involved. I'm having a wierd time these days personally. Professionally things couldn't be better and I'm SO excited about this year in AIESEC. I'm also looking forward to see what legacy I will leave here and who will take my place. The last and not the least - I'm very excited about my future and reaching my dreams.
I'm already started to plan out the path for the years to come in my mind... I'm that excited.

I'm looking forward to the relationships with friends I'm going to make stronger over the course of this year and I'm looking forward to gain new friends and meet new people.

So even though I'm emotional I feel happy as well and passionate for the future, both mine and my friends and families :)

-with love and excitement-

Thinking about those who mean the most!

I wrote in November last year that life is never fair. Death and sorrow is always following and happens when you least expected.

It's in times like these I think about the people that mean the most to me - and if they know how much they mean to me.

News that break your heart, hearing your friend is in pain and the fact that death doesn't wait for no man make you really think about your life and how you are living it.
- do I say "I love you" enough?
- do my friends know how much they mean to me?
- does my family know how they are my everything?
- do they know I would do anything for them?
- are they aware of this?

I try to tell my family and friends that they do mean a lot to me - and that I'm here for them in times of need!!

that brings me to another kind of love - and being IN love..
I have been in love but love has always drifted away and I never do anything about it.
I have only said "I love you" once and that love went away.
I've loved but not follow my love and making sure that my love will stay my love.
Why?

Next time, let's hope there will be one, I will be in love - I will make sure my love does not slip away and that I will not be left behind with a broken heart - I will not stand up in the end of my life and say - What if?
Life is too short - and I have seen that now.
I should fight for my loved one - let that person know that he means the world to me as well.

Let's hope I will keep this in mind next time I fall in love, whenever that will be.

I'm ending this post, a post that really makes me think about those that mean the most, with a lyric from a song by Gretchen Wilson - Holdin' You!!

-with love-

I dont need whiskey to drown out the pain
Or some old umbrella to hold off the rain
Dont have to cross over a river of tears
All that i need is right here

Holding you holds me together
When holding on gets just a little to hard
When this tight rope i travel
Begins to unravel and i feel like
Im falling apart
Holding you holds me together

You know lifes a freight liner on
A runaway track
But ill take the ride knowing
That youll bring me back
No fates too uncertain no distance to far
As long as your here in my arms

I send you my strength, my faith and my support

In times of need

My friend, I give you
My Prayers and my strenght,
My friend, I send you
My faith and my hope.

I wish you and your close ones
Strenght and support
Because in times like these
You need them the most.

My friend, I’m sorry for your loss
I’m here if you need me.
My friend, just cry
I will be here.

What's life to you?

Life is very unjust.

Bad things come all at once and sometimes it’s so hard to adjust to the changes and the new situations that are coming to the life.

Last few weeks have been full of bad news, hard times, scary moment and fears.

I feel alone most of the times, no one to share these things with and trying not to talk much about them inside my family.

I have to stay strong. I’m trying and it’s hard.

Last few weeks have been tough – but things are getting better. So hard times are getting easier and people are adjusting. I still feel the stress and the pressure.

I wish life was more fair and simple.

I have a good life, good friends and an amazing family. I love spending time with them and support them. I feel blessed.

I wish you strength in hard times and courage to keep fighting.
I wish you happiness and fulfillment in your daily lives.
I wish you opportunities and chances to live your dream.
I wish you time with your special people.
I wish you to be all you can be :)

I’m hoping for the same thing for me!

- with love-

I miss the way!

Theres something bout the way you look tonight, Theres something bout the way that i can't take my eyes off you.
Theres something bout the way your lips invite, maybe its the way that i get nervous when your around.
And I want you to be mine and if u need a reason why,

It's in the way that you move me, and the way that you tease me, the way that I want you tonight, It's in the way that you hold me, and the way that you know me, when I can't find the right words to say,
You feel it in the way, you feel it in the way.

Theres something bout how you stay on my mind, theres something bout the way that I whisper your name when I'm asleep Oh girl no.
Maybe its the look you get in your eyes. Oh baby its the way that makes me feel to see you smile. And the reasons they may change but what i'm feeling stays the same.

I can't put my fingers on just what it is that makes me love you, you baby.
So don't ask me to describe, I get all choked up inside, just thinking bout the way.

There's something bout the way you look tonight.
There's nothing more to say then, I feel it in the way.

- the way; Clay Aiken -

my weekend feelings

well...

I'm back home to my parents. It feels strange not having to go to the MC flat and not being on my own.
I feel the need now, I need my own place. I have been living away from my parents since october and I've gotten to used to living by myself, cooking, cleaning, watching what I want in TV, and so on and so forth.

This weekend I will be focusing on planning next year for AIESEC in Iceland. I feel very passionate about it but I sometimes feel I'm the only one.
I dont know if that's true but that's my feeling.
I'm looking forward to see how we are planning the national timeline and what the LC's will see their goals. :)

Well, this is it for me... I'm feeling good... could be better but I guess that is normal from time to time.

-with love-